.jpg "\"Family Dinner\" by Christine Graves")
We're still a few days away from Thanksgiving and I'm over here thinking about the things I should be thankful for this year. It's been a hell of a ride and I really do have a lot to be grateful for.
Okay, let me give you some perspective. In January, I will have been separated from husband #2 for two years. He left me. I was mortified. It took me a good six months just to be able to not burst out into tears around other people. I lived in the house we had shared...for a time. It was an inheritance from his mother, so I had no choice but to move. Another hard slap to the face.
He'd left me with most of the bills and half of the money. I had to get help from various sources (I was also raising a grandchild), but I managed to find a place for the grandbaby and myself just before Thanksgiving. It was hard for me to get into the holiday mood. I was starting to get past the initial trauma, but it still hurt.
Just about a year ago, I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner in my little apartment. Just me, the grandbaby, her mom, and her step-dad. It was an amazing dinner and we all had a wonderful time. It was the first time since my husband had left me that I actually felt thankful for anything. I still had the grandbaby. I still had my daughter and she had given me an amazing son-in-law.
For the past year, I've worked my ass off trying to keep my head above water. My husband had taken the new car we'd just purchased together and left me with his piece-of-shit pickup. What's worse? He never made a payment on the car and I either had to make the payments or let it get repossessed and have that on my record as well as his. I paid that car off, even though I wasn't driving it, and added a few good marks to my credit report.
I finally saved up enough money to file for divorce. I didn't get an attorney, I just filed all the papers myself and even made sure he knew what I was doing. I'm not sure if he'd realized what he had done, or if he thought I was bluffing, but we were getting along pretty well. So, after I'd filed, I had him come over for dinner. I served him spaghetti for supper and divorce papers for dessert. Mmmm, yummy.
He signed the papers, then signed the title for the pickup and handed it over to me. It was still a piece of shit, but I had a clear title so I could sell it if I had to. I wanted a new car, but I didn't think I could do it on my own. Between trying to pay rent, pay the bills, and still put food on the table, I was barely getting by. Fast forward two months to the day we went to court for the divorce.
I stopped at the bank on my way to the courthouse. I wanted to make sure I had enough cash on me to pay whatever was left on the divorce. However, the Universe had other ideas for me. Someone came out of the bank, obviously pissed off, and slammed into my driver's side door. The door wouldn't open and the window was shattered, and I was supposed to be in court in less than 15 minutes.
I called my (now) ex and told him what happened. He got to the bank before the police did. He was pulling chunks of glass out of my door panel when the police finally arrived. I explained the situation as he took my information. Then, he sent us off to the courthouse, which was (thankfully) just across the street.
We made it just in time and the judge signed off on our divorce. Still, I was now driving a piece of shit pickup with a door that didn't open and no window...and it was October. Brrrr. I spent a week driving that damn thing before I decided it was time to get a new car.
A friend had me call her guy. She knew a guy who worked at a local dealership. And not one of those places with the cardboard signs written in black marker. Like, a real dealership with cars inside the showroom and the whole thing. I called him around 10am on a Friday morning and by the time I got off work that afternoon, I was on my way to sign for my new car. I was so proud of myself and so freaked out over what I had just done. I pulled up my big girl panties and did a thing. WTF???
So, here it is, a full year later. I'm still struggling, but I'm still here. I have a new car that I feel safe driving and don't worry about putting my grandchild in. We're warm, we're safe, and we're fed. And that right there is a lot.
I'm thankful for the people I have around me, however many or few there may be. I'm thankful for the chance to be the person that I've become. And I'm thankful that I've been given another chance to prove to myself and the world that I will be okay.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
Christine Graves has been writing online for nearly 30 years. She has written everything from fiction and poetry to reviews and ad campaigns. She runs two blogs, Graves Publications and Collected Keepsakes. She currently writes for a platform called Medium.com and runs several publications through them.
Christine is also an avid collector of vintage anything and an arts-and-crafts kinda gal. She is a sucker for a garage/yard sale, secondhand stores, and auctions. Because of this, she's opened her first real online shop called Prairied Treasures.
